Day One – 23/05/11
Upon coming back from South Africa and having gained more then life experience, I decided to venture upon the popular but often fatal plight of losing excess weight. What triumphs and tragedies awaited me...my naivety of the ordeal of sweating profusely and chewing carrots constantly was about to begin. I was yet to experience the inner turmoil of not eating that piece of toast and NOT getting that damn cappuccino and muffin when I most needed it! Damn emotional eating...I'm sometimes as emotional as a woman pregnant for 5 months who just saw her most hated friend looking great in a pair of sexy skinny jeans whilst she can hardly fit into her damn car and then the bitch comes over to say 'hi' and how 'glowing' you look!Anyway I rant. So yes, that is why I bought this book (below) and after putting it off for at least 2 months (I made many excuses) I have FINALLY started on this 30 day 'ass' kicker journey, like the author likes to put it. This is me writing about it, which I will do every day, for the next 30 days. So comment, query, yell and cry with me, or just laugh, whatever. At least enjoy my suffering, then alas, perhaps it shall be worth it! I bid you a-due! (or how ever thats spelt, hell I don't even know what it means, goodbye or something...anyyyyway!)
Book Title:
How to lose the last 5 kilos
your kick-arse guide to looking and feeling fantastic. By Michelle Bridges
(This part is by me! haha)
It’s definitely been a ‘kick-arse’ experience for this self-confessed “emotional eater”. Yes I eat when I’m happy, sad, depressed, anxious, bored, if the fridge is in sight I will be there opening it, eating its contents…or at best trying to not eat its contents. Day one I have found difficult, very difficult. Challenging, very challenging. If I seem to be repeating myself it’s only to reiterate the fact of how challenging and difficult I have found day one of this 30day journey. (OH my gosh…30 days...what have I signed myself up for?)
You have to calorie count everything…I HATE IT! I accidently over ate on my ‘snacks’ by 88 or so calories, I guess not to bad for day one, which was a pretty emotional, crap day for me. I don’t know how the woman does it! Bloody hell! I feel hungry nearly all the time! I drink heaps of water, but I’m still hungry! Is this really worth fitting into my size 10 pants? I don’t know anymore…I just don’t know. I mean I can do exercise and I can eat pretty healthy, but if I’m hungry I’m damn well hungry!
And to think that for the rest of my life I have to exercise and eat healthy, OH MY GOSH! I know I’m complaining my butt of but UGH! It just takes SOOO much effort! Maybe after a year I will be more used to it…I dono…flip. Why does everything that is good for you have to be so damn hard? AARGH! Dinner was nice though, I enjoyed it, but it was a bit too spicy for my stomach. Breakfast was nice too, but after 2 hours I was hungry again! Lunch good too, but yeah, after 2 hours HUNGER STRIKES! And the meals are SO SMALL! I WANT MORE! I’m like an angry fat kid at fat camp, trying to bash the councillor who won’t allow him any more porridge! DAMN COUNCILLOR! haha. I’m completely mad. (Bonkers)
The exercise was probably the easiest thing of today. A bit of running, crunches, push-ups, some random other things such as that. I read the bit at the end of the 30 days where she’s like “you look fantastic!” bla bla. But now you have to maintain it. “The fact that you have reached your goal weight does not change anything”. DAMMIT! I was hoping I could gorge myself now! haha. But seriously, SIGH! “You will always be an exerciser and you will always choose to eat healthy”. GAh…
Then she goes on to recommend continuing to do the calorie counting thing during the week, cause that way you stay at your desired weight and to continue to train for 6 days per week (which usually means you will manage five training sessions). OK! I can do that (I think…) except for the calorie count. If I have to count calories for the rest of my life, I’d rather just be fat! For fricks sake is that any way to live? NO!
Imagine this next sentence in an uptight kind of nasal voice, the words being punched out of pursed lips…somewhat like our current prime minister, yes a lot like that ranga…
“Alright well that apple was 50 calories, just write that down in my pink little fluffy notepad with my pink fluffy little gel pen, hmm oh yes half a carrot, that’s another 8 calories, ummm…oh yes I had a piece of lettuce leaf, oh dear lord I’m really pushing it today, that’s um…2 calories…”
I MEAN COME ON! I’m going to be sick, literally, this is making me ill. Just imagine those poor actresses in Hollywood who starve themselves, calorie counting to the last little grain of rice, no wonder they crack under all that pressure and go bonkers!
On one of the trashy, gossip magazines, the cover displayed a bunch of slinky Hollywood actresses at the beach saying they’ve ‘embraced’ their more ‘curvy’ sides. The women were bloody sticks! CURVY? I see no curves! They were like, size 8’s or smaller! They had small boobies, does that count as curves? What the hell is wrong with the world today? WHAT THE HELL!?
*Deep inhale, deep exhale*…..anyway…I’m getting all wound up and I have to go to bed soon. Frick. Tomorrow I can only snack on vegetables, damn right I’ll snack. I’ll bloody SNACK till the damn COWS come home!
ARRGH! I wana be faaat and happy. Damn reality. It stinks, like stinky balls! ARGH!
Anywhoo….I want chocolate :( haha the sucky thing is, it doesn’t even taste that good. I mean I eat and it feels good, but that’s it. It’s not like ‘WOOW AMAZING! AAAAARGH! ORGASMIC’ its just, “hmm that was nice” and then it sits on your damn hips. Not fair. Life’s not far BLA BLA I’M COMPLAINING BLAH! But I guess I just need to suck it up, shut up and accept that life isn’t fair and give it the best I’ve got…I WANT BREAD! There is raisin bread in my freezer, butter, lovely, creamy, organic butter in my fridge, chai tea and honey in my cupboard! AAAGH! The temptation is too much to bare!
I’m going to go to bed so I can eat nothing except air and random bugs that hopefully don’t crawl into my mouth…I’m not that desperate. Well at least I have 4 egg white’s for breakfast to look forward to…(sarcasm…) I do get 120g of smoked salmon with that, but I ate it all today and I cant afford any more…tuna? Ah what the hell! I’ll do the best with what I got. FRICKAPOOO!....
This is hard.
Meh.
BLAH!
Bye
AAAAAARGHHHHHHH! *Quietly sobs in corner, actually not so quietly, banging fists on floor tantrum style*
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